Of Frizzy Hair, Incorrect Fashion Sense, and No Make-up

Y with X

X – Hello, Miss Frizzy Hair!

Y – Hey, what’s with the frizzy hair?

X – You know something – you are ruining that pretty face with that frizzy hair of yours.

Y – Ummm. So what should I do?

X – Get it tamed. Get it flattened. Will help you look more groomed. And please add more colours to your wardrobe. You have such a boring wardrobe. Dump those full-sleeved shirts and boring denims. You can pull-off anything with that body of yours. You have the right body, you know. My girl got to be the best – the hottest in town.

Y – *Smiles* But I like wearing that kind of stuff. And seriously, I appreciate your concern for my lack of sartorial skills, but I would prefer not being told what to wear and not to wear.

X – I feel that in a true relationship we need to bring out the best in each other. It’s a process that works for both us – I tell you things that will have you as a better person. And you tell me things which you think will make me better.

Y – So you think wearing fancier clothes and “taming” my hair will make me a better person?

X – Now you are getting me completely wrong! Did you even pay attention to what I said? I said that you are ruining a pretty face with that unkempt hair. And that you have a body that can carry off the hottest of clothes! Pretty and right body! I wasn’t belittling you, duh!

Y – But I would prefer someone who accepts and appreciates me the way I am. For them, I would voluntarily, and even without being asked to, work on making myself better.

Y With Z (And not X – About a month later)

Y – So what kind of clothes you prefer to see me in?

Z- Anything that you are comfortable in…

Y – But I wear jeans most of the time. That’s what I am comfortable in.

Z – I am fine with that. What matters to me is your comfort. I don’t think you will enjoy my company to the fullest if you are not wearing something you are comfortable in.

Y – And do you like women in make-up?

Z – I don’t like heavily made-up woman.

Y – So what attracts you in a woman?

Z – I get drawn to her if I get the right mental vibes.

Y – Why were you drawn to me?

Z – I find you cerebrally stimulating.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Y is a 28 year old woman, while X in his early thirties and Z in his early forties.

Of course, you must have guessed it by now whom Y gave the boot and whom she embraced gladly.

We like reading such happy-ending tales where the plain-Jane protagonist ultimately finds her prince charming –  sadly only in blogs and story books. But are we actually accepting of plain looks and bright brains? I would be wary if someone told me their preferences were the other way round.

But then who would not want Aishwarya Rai eyes (wear coloured contact lens for them), Megan Fox nose (did she not get a nose job?), porn-star round boobs (let’s search breast implants), Beyoncified buttocks (they actually have gluteal implants for a bigger behind too, I swear), waist the size of your 5-year old niece (corsets help; if you can’t breathe in them get a tummy tuck), and poker-straight hair (with a poker face, enter a hair salon now!).

Are women and beauty product companies entirely to be blamed for skewed body images that we carry? Is it just because of that hoarding of Aishwarya Rai on the traffic signal signalling us that we want better hair? Or is it the constant pressure of our spouses and loved ones to look better?

Also, is the idea of bodily perfection only that of people belonging to a certain age-group (more so of people below 35)? I personally find slightly more mature people more practical and less rigid on matters of weight and waist. Most of them want you to be of a healthy mind and body.

The idea of beauty has changed over times. What was once considered voluptuous and beautiful is your present-day fat. Curly is your present day frizzy. Too fair, then don’t be surprised if someone calls you as bloodless as a vampire. Dark, then someone might suggest you rub oatmeal mixed with bird poop for instant fairness. If you are slim, they call you anorexic. Plump, they call you emotionally disturbed on your back. Receding hairline, rub onion juice on your pate. Thick hair, get them pressed.

And the non-sense continues till you feel like declaring “this world is ugly as a f**k”

Even worse is our constant endeavor to fit into the conventional stereotypes of body-image right. We hit the gym to look like a porn star in bed. We workout so that we can wear that black dress that Halle Berry wore on the red carpet. We zip our mouths even on festivals — which were originally thought of to enjoy the smallest of pleasures to our senses (including that of taste) — so that we look slimmer on our dates. It’s surprising the number of articles and blogs which come out during the festive season which tell us how to control our tongues literally eating during that one day of feasting.

Mind it – it takes 3,500 calories to make up one pound. That’s almost 7,000 calories to make up one kilo. If you are not on a record-breaking spree, with a decent appetite and a luxurious spread in front of you, gulping 7,000 calories in a day of celebration is an almost impossible feat.

Why can’t we think of having a better body only for ourselves? Why can’t we tell ourselves that two inches lost from our waistline would do us good by reducing the disastrous belly fat?

Why can’t we think that  running helps our cardiovascular system run right? And not just helps tone our thighs and increase that thing called thigh gap.

That moving our body makes it better, not just looks-wise. That building muscles sans the scary powders and steroids  helps us stay healthy and not just attracts chicks looking for Hulk Hogans in bed.


Y with her BFF (Few Days Back)

BFF – Reconsider your decision to invest so much in a smartphone.

Y – Why?

BFF – I suggest you buy a cheaper smartphone and get your hair treated.

Y *Facepalm*


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